Years ago only a small clique of degenerates smoked marijuana. Now smoke rises from all segments of society. So you’ve recently decided that you want to smoke cannabis on a regular basis. Welcome to the club! I’m sure that you’re just becoming acquainted with the amazing feeling of being high; music sounds better and food tastes better.
However, if you want to continue smoking without running into “problems” down the road with your fellow stoners, then listen up! Today I’m giving you a crash course in “stoner etiquette” where we’ll explore some of the common rules and rituals within the toking community. Obviously people develop their own rules and rites, but the following are internationally recognized by most stoners.
Who rolls the weed is a matter of great social importance. In the late 50s and early 60s, it was usually the male who rolled the joint, but today, in the modern age, more and more women are assuming the roll. There is no sexism in weed etiquette, a woman can role just as well as a man, so today you may find either leading this ritual. Those individuals who do not own the product, or who have no papers, seldom find themselves in the position of roller. It differs from the usual class system in that it is possible to rise through sheer expertise. Whoever rolls the best joints is the one who should be rolling, simple as that.
Puff Puff Pass
Nobody likes a “Camper.” If you don’t know what camping is, allow me to explain. A camper is someone who ‘sits’ on a pipe or a joint/blunt. In other words, it’s someone who simply doesn’t pass the toke anywhere and might be lost in conversation or simply too stoned to realize they are hoarding the weed.
Thus, when you’re smoking with people, a good rule of thumb is the “puff, puff, pass” rule. Essentially every participant in the “circle” or group, is entitled to two hits of the toke and then must pass it on to the next person. This ensures that there is a fair distribution of joint for everyone to participate. Obviously some lucky bastard will get an extra hit from the rotation but that’s okay. Fair is fair.
He who Rolls/Packs it, sparks it
This rule is not disputed anywhere. If you are responsible for rolling the joint or packing the bowl, you get first hit. It’s your reward for doing the “work” in getting everyone high. You do have the right to pass your first hit to someone else, however most stoners will always keep the first hit.
The first hit is always the best: no ash and just a fresh clean toke of some righteous bud. So if anyone ever asks, “Can anyone roll this,” you say yes. Typically, the person who sparks first also gets that “extra hit” we mentioned above.
Pass to the Left
Made famous by a Musical Youth song this became an unspoken rule for when you don’t know “who’s up next.” In other words, if you were passed a joint and you don’t know who’s the next one in the rotation, simply pass it to the left. For the most part people will just continue with the trend and a new rotation will be established.
If you’re the one who sparked up first, typically you’ll pass it to the left however it isn’t set in stone. In most cases though, you’ll notice rotations starting from the left hand side…you know…because the right side is wrong.
Don’t be a Bogart
Bogarting a joint is another way of saying someone is camping. You can call them by either name and it would be entirely correct. Nonetheless, you never want to be a bogart yourself. It’s just bad manners and even if it is your stash, you still shouldn’t bogart.
Within the cannabis culture, we like to share our weed because we know that whenever your stash is low, someone might come and save you with a toke. So be generous and follow the Puff, Puff rule.
If it’s your mess, deal with it!
At times, you might be incredibly high and accidently break something or spill a bong. It’s okay, it happens to the best of us. Eventually you’ll learn to measure your state of “highness” to avoid mishaps in the future.
However, now that you already spilled the smelly bong water on your friend’s carpet…start cleaning your mess. Don’t forget to refill the bong and be sure to get the smell out. The smell of bong water lingers like a putrid corpse.
If you broke a pipe or other smoking utensil, it’s your responsibility to replace it with something of equal value. Sorry, but people get attached to their devices and you’ll have to fill that void you left in their souls. You’ll understand when it happens to you…and it will happen to you.
Everybody’s got to pitch in
It’s okay to smoke from other people’s stash, but if you have weed of your own you should match the amount of weed being offered. It’s definitely not cool to hold out on the community. Call it bad weed karma where you’ll be cursed with seedy-stem riddled brick weed for all eternity.
Also, it’s important to note that if you’re a newbie smoker people will generally forgive your ‘lack of weed,’ however, don’t try to play the newbie card for too long. If you’re going to smoke weed, then get some of your own. Just ask around and get a stash of your own.
Know Your Strains
In modern times no individual should be ignorant of all the fine points of vintage, temperament and origin of the marijuana on their table. In the best of homes a proper stash is kept and tended, each precious joint appropriate to circumstances. It is considered tacky to wrap a high quality grade of weed in cherry flavored rolling paper. Such accessories will only destroy its taste and hide the details of its lineage from interested guests.
With fine grades of weed like Sour Diesel or Trainwreck, it is not necessary or advisable to break up the weed at all, but rather to bring out the whole stick or bag so all can appreciate its appearance. Never degrade your weed by prefacing your offer with, “It’s only Regs, I usually use it for cooking.”
Whether exotic or domestic, the thoughtful host can make even the simplest grade of weed into a unique and pleasurable experience.
Call the Cash
If you’re smoking in a group and the bong or pipe feels like it’s getting “cash-ey”, it’s polite to warn the next in rotation about the potential of smoking a cashed bowl. Smoking ash isn’t fun for anyone and a simple “heads up” would do. Simply say, “I think the bowl might be cashed” and you’re good to go. The person will then assess whether or not to pursuit the hit or prepare another bowl.