How To Hide The Fact That You’re High

Okay, so you’re high and afraid everyone is on to you. The good news is that it’s probably not true. Nevertheless, if you need to mask your high, there are a few things you need to remember: you smell like weed, your eyes are barely opened and you’ve been laughing at the spider in the corner for over a minute.  Every cannabis consumer has found themselves at one time or another in a less-than-desirable situation when they’re high – and need to not look high. Maybe your parents call around, or you have to pick up some previously-forgotten-but-now-essential-item from the grocery store (snacks or rolling papers, usually.) If you’ve been smoking weed for a long time, chances are people can’t tell when you’ve had a smoke anyway. But if you’re relatively new to the scene, there are a few things you can do to keep your love of MJ on the DL.

Laughing uncontrollably

Being stoned is a lot like having a little comedian in your head commenting on everything around you. And, even though this comic is probably hilarious, the rest of us who aren’t in on the joke might get a little suspicious of your sunny take on life. If you’re high and in public, try to keep your giggles to a minimum.

 

Hide the evidence

Quite obvious really. If you are expecting a visit from the in-laws, it’s best to put the bong out of sight.

Quieten the loud

If you’ve been smoking, particles of smoke will be in your clothes, hair, and breath, and people will be able to detect it. It’s easy to reduce the smell, with simple things like a shower, brushing your teeth or a change of clothes. If people are coming over and you have to freshen up your house, then the same still applies, but also open the windows, use an air freshener or light a scented candle.

Sunglasses are your best friend

Nothing gives a recent sesh away like red eyes. Wherever possible, wear them so no one can see your eyes. If you are indoors, then wearing sunglasses is just as suspicious as what they hide. Instead, use some eye drops and if anyone asks, just blame your allergies.

Stop fidgeting

It is natural to think that you must obviously look stoned, and thus try to look normal. Whether you’re standing in a queue or sitting down, one thing you have to do is stop fidgeting. The thing is, when you make an effort to look normal, you look anything but, so focus on something else.

Mind over matter

Worse case scenario: you’re in a delicious indica melt, and people unexpectedly drop round to say hi. The last thing you want to do is be chatty and responsive, but you have to reach deep and find some motivation to interact and do things. You can do it! Of course, if you have had a nice uplifting sativa, then this probably won’t be too much of a struggle.

Shhhhh

Chances are if you think you’re talking shit, you are. The best way to avoid this is to simply stop talking – and we don’t mean mid-sentence when you realize. Don’t bring up the fact that you are talking nonsense either. Remember: you’re trying to stay under the radar, so randomly chatting with the people around you is not going to help.

Let it go

If you’ve overindulged a bit can be easy to become fixated on one thing in your mind or your thoughts start spiraling about the hundreds of things going on in your life. Get some control back by telling yourself that while there may be some problems in your life, now’s not the time to deal them.

Forgetting things easily

The human brain craves efficiency and the storage of memories is no different. We can only remember things that our hippocampus deems important in order to facilitate a more streamline thinking process. When THC interacts with the hippocampus, it essentially hijacks the memory-making process making it much more likely that you will forget your thought mid-sentence. You can lessen the likelihood of forgetting things when you’re high by practicing memory games and visualizing your thought process.

  • What do you do to hide your high? Leave a comment below!