How to Wake and Bake Like a Grown-Up

How to get lit in the morning responsibly.

In my late teens and early 20s, wake and bake meant massive hits off my very long and often dirty spaceship bong before rushing off to class or an internship. Blitzed out of my mind, I learned to function in the world with high levels of THC running through me, encountering many colorful lessons along the way. But, as I’ve grown older and refined both my palate and cleaning skills, wake and bake has taken on a more enlightened meaning. And thank goodness! Those adolescent practices weren’t sustainable.

Adulthood equals a never ending list of things to do, so it’s important to keep a clear(ish) head or the need to get shit done looms like a sad gray cloud of anxiety. Not to mention, bong water is gross. Allow my 24 years of cannabis experience to guide you on your journey to becoming a responsible adult stoner.

Set Your Intentions

Ask yourself, “What are today’s priorities?” Then go from there. Is today Fuck-Off Friday? If so, make a gravity bong out of a two-liter soda bottle and go to town on the medicated taffy treats if that’s what gets you excited. Hustle-Up Tuesday is a different story, requiring an alternative plan of action based on convenience, discretion, consistency, and healthfulness. Luckily, there are many products on the market that make customizing your experience a reality, but it all begins with your intentions. More on this below.

Do Your Research

As more cannabis and cannabis-infused products come online, it’s important to stay educated on what you’re consuming. Read labels. Check the ingredients. Meet the grower or edible maker. Look for farmers who are mindful of organic and pesticide-free practices. Support businesses that use wholesome ingredients. You’ll be able to tell the difference between a product made with love and a product made purely for profit. Choose love. You’ll feel the difference.

Know Your Dose

Everyone’s endocannabinoid system is different. What works for you may not work for your friend, and vice versa. Experiment. Keep notes. Understand that many factors determine the nature of your high, such as tolerance, what you’ve had to eat, how much sleep you’ve had, and what mood you’re in. Awareness is key. Take it slow as you get to know what works best for you. Dosing is everything when it comes to productivity.

Vaporize Your Cannabis

With combustion, you have less control over your dose. With vaporization, you can dial in your buzz accurately while avoiding harmful carcinogens and enjoying subtle cannabinoid and terpene profiles. Moderation is essential to motivation. Microdosing cannabis allows you to receive the plant’s medicine without overdoing it. Plus, it’s discreet. You can duck into a corner somewhere and take a puff off your CO2 oil vape pen without anyone noticing. For those who prefer vaping dry flower on-the-go, there are many devices on the market like PAX 2 and CRAFTY. Find one that works for you.

Choose Healthy Edibles

Candy is dandy, but gluten-free, vegan, organic, sugar-free, low-fat edibles are the way to maintain a well-balanced diet. Save the sugary sweet medicated treats for special occasions—you won’t get much work done if you’re experiencing a sugar crash. For those who prefer not to smoke or vape and don’t want to eat food to feel the effects, tinctures are a smart alternative.

Learn About Terpenes

Sour Diesel, Green Queen, and Sugar Pine are a few of my go-to wake-and-bake favorites based on their energetic properties. Out of 480 components in cannabis, 120 are therapeutic and aromatic compounds known as terpenes. They play a huge role in the type of high experienced. For instance, strains with high levels of pinene and limonene are generally uplifting; perfect for a morning buzz. Start smelling your buds. Develop your nose. Ask questions. Read articles. Reputable dispensaries will have the analytics on each chemovar handy for you to peruse. Knowledgeable budtenders can help guide you.

Analyze Cannabinoid Percentages

Strains high in CBD or low in THC are quite effective, allowing you to avoid the overwhelming head high induced by THC-heavy harvests. Remember each batch is different. Check lab results. Experiment with different ratios. Expanding your cannabis knowledge will help you to make more informed decisions. This way, you can wake, bake, and actually get shit done.

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