Purple this and blue that, that hypebeasts salivate over whenever they hit the open market. But the truth of the matter is that I’m an old-school cat who lives for that OG shit. Sure, I love today’s genetically modified and engineered strains of weed whose single purpose is to leave us coma-toasted and in a haze for days. I still light my “branches” with matches. That’s just how I do. And while I do live off that new-age leaf and appreciate what it brings to the table, I also miss the taste and smell of some of the original 80s and 90s bud. Here’s a list of the traumas I would love to see on shelf…
Buddha cannabis strain
Puffing on Buddha used to bring peace and tranquility to the wildest of men. The thick yellow smoke of clarity was a sight to behold. Philosophies were thought up in project hallways, and stoners wrote all kinds of street rules to abide by. Legend has it Biggie wrote the 10 Crack Commandments while high on the Buddha lye.
Branson cannabis strain
The stuff legends wrote about. And when I say legends, I mean hip-hop legends. Notorious B.I.G., Redman, Rakim, etc. would spit a few bars about weed from Branson here and there in their cuts. I can’t say I’ve ever had the pleasure of tasting this legendary herb, but I do know that if it was good enough for hardcore hip-hop stoners to big-up in their songs, then this strain must have been off the charts!
Chronic cannabis strain
Made famous by the legendary Dr. D-R-E, Chronic weed was considered top-of-the-line tree stumps at a time when the only kind of weed that was available in my hood was stem-and-seeds-filled skunk, a.k.a. regs (as in “regulars” or oREGanos”). That Chron-Chron had us coughing up lungs to the extent where we swore we were able to breathe easier afterwards. Now that was the original medicinal marijuana.
Chocolate cannabis strain
This bittersweet bud would simply melt in your mouth and leave you with sticky hands. An absolute must for date nights, Chocolate Thai was known as an aphrodisiac amongst the stoner community. We’d puff on the Hershey to get some shotgun kisses from the missus and end the night with a Snickers to her kisser. It almost never failed.
Tyson cannabis strain
This was legendary simply because the weed was compressed and shaped into the form of a single dice. It was sold for one year in Do or Die Bed-Stuy before that spot got raided (a hex on the house of thy snitch! A hex, I say!). There were times when newbies would enter the Tyson cipher and weren’t ready for what was about to hit ’em. Straight one-hitter quitter types. Rival spots tried to counter with “Holyfield,” but it was nowhere near as potent as the Champ.
Hydro cannabis strain
The original “Oh shit! There’s orange hairs and tiny crystals on the weed” weed. Until then, every single bud I’d ever seen was purely green or brown. So when Hydro hit the hood with the force of a tidal wave it left everyone wet, if not drenched, in its wake. We used to walk 10-deep to the spot for a single dime bag just to make sure no one pinched it on the way back to the block. That’s how fiended out we were for this product.
Pu-ree cannabis strain
Shout-outs to my Dominicans in Washington Heights who made this one of their signature products in the ’90s. There was always debate as to whether or not Pu-ree was just Hydro renamed due to its similarities in both physical and “psychological” properties. Either way, it was a great product.
Mango Pina cannabis strain
As best as I can recall, this was the first fruit-flavored ganja strain in the mid ’90s. It wasn’t particularly strong, but it delivered a mellow and relaxing state of mind whenever it was burned down.