Some strains have instantly recognizable, iconic names. But with some strains, like Gorilla Glue, under litigation for violating copyright law, it’s time to take a look at strain names that should probably be retired. Some of them are offensive, some of them are confusing, and others are just plain stupid. No one wants to smoke something called “Cannabis #503” or something. They want to tell their friends they’re using “Euphoria” or “Herojuana.” But sometimes people choose terrible, horrible, no good, very bad names for their cannabis strains.
Here are 8 of the worst but if you want you can get seeds below!
For those of you who don’t know, Agent Orange was an herbicide manufactured by Monsanto and used in a warfare program by the U.S. military in the Vietnam war. Its effects were horrific, leaving generations of Vietnamese and U.S. soldiers to suffer brutal side effects such as severe birth defects, cancers and death. It’s pretty much one of the last things I want to associate with my bud, but someone decided to name a strain Agent Orange nevertheless, meaning it makes the ‘Worst Strain Names’ list. The strain is said to have a very citrus smell and flavor, but all I can think about is cannabis coated in Agent Orange poison.
At some point there will be a news story about a student getting arrested for making a bomb threat at a school, only for it to turn out to be a misunderstanding involving this marijuana strain.
Cat piss, as any cat owner or friend knows, is one of the worst smells, and as it turns out, the Cat Piss strain doesn’t smell like roses either. With a smell palate said to include such gems as ammonia and skunk, perhaps this strain name serves more as a warning than a poor attempt at creativity. That being said, it is reported to offer an uplifting cerebral effect.
It stands for “Marijuana I’d Like to Flower,” and nothing else. Absolutely nothing else.
British Columbia is known for their premium quality cannabis, so when I hear BC Roadkill, I can only think one thing: is this the shit they scraped off the road to feed to the rest of us? In reality this is a top-shelf bud known for its super stinky scent of citrus and a strong relaxing buzz that won’t knock you out. Sounds great right? This is one strain name that can definitely be called misleading. I wouldn’t ever equate ‘roadkill’ with ‘top shelf’, unless I was a vulture.
This indica-dominant hybrid’s name doesn’t do anyone any favors when it comes to distinguishing psychedelics and marijuana. Granted the name, like most, is probably meant to be pretty tongue-in-cheek. But still, calling a strain LSD when we’re just on the cusp of overcoming Reefer Madness seems counterproductive.
When I think of cannabis, I think of peace and euphoria and feeling good. A word that summarizes the opposite of all that? Abusive OG. The name of this strain makes me feel like I won’t be feelin‘ too good after smoking this. Am I going to be hittin‘ it or is it going to be hittin‘ me? The bud itself is said to be highly relaxing with an intense mental haziness. Going on the name alone though, this is a strain I would pass up for something that sounds a little less awful.
The word Chernobyl should conjure thoughts of the nuclear power plant disaster in Ukraine which displaced hundreds of thousands of people and caused the death and long-term, negative health effects and birth defects of many others. People are still suffering the effects of this incident today, which is also the worst nuclear power plant disaster in history. When I think of Chernobyl, I think of destruction and disaster and radiation, lots and lots of radiation. I certainly don’t think about weed! The strain Chernobyl is a sativa-dominant bud with a flavor and smell of lime. Yet all I can think is: is this bud radioactive? Did you grow it at the site of a nuclear disaster? Radiation is about as unappetizing as it gets in my book. This strain names misses the mark by miles and miles of uninhabitable radioactive wasteland.
So there you have it… 8 of the worst strain names. The best cry out for you to smoke them; the worst can make you second guess partaking in some otherwise dank nug.
[Updated, originally published 9.12. 2017]