Top Stoner Problems

Every cannabis enthusiast has stoner problems, and sometimes the struggle is very real. You know all the little things that try so desperately to get in the way of your happy place.

Being Dankrupt

It’s a sad day when your stash runs dry. It’s seems like it was just yesterday your jar was full. Well, maybe it was full yesterday. Not to fear, there’s always that resin buildup inside the pipe you can get an alternative kick of THC from.

When Your Dealer Takes Forever To Text You Back

Hey have the weed, you have the money. Answer the phone, damn it!

Broken Bongs

Maybe your bong was broken by your cat, too-stoned friend, or even by your own hand—regardless of the perp, the sight of shattered glass is not easy to swallow. After all, what’s a stoner to do when you’ve got a healthy helping of weed, and nothing to enjoy it through?

Red Eyes

Are my eyes red?” If you have to ask… Sure you do. Just get some eye drops.

No Lighter

You get ready to light the bowl and realize you don’t have your trusty lighter. All of a sudden everything is not perfect. Lighters are probably one of the easiest things to lose or misplace for any stoner. If you often share your lighter with friends, then chances are you also go through many in any given year.

The Munchies

Weed makes you hungry. Sometimes weed makes you eat everything in the kitchen. Not much is worse than your stomach killing your buzz. It should be a rule of thumb for every stoner to have their cupboards stocked with snacks at all times. You never know when the munchies will hit, and you definitely want to be prepared for when they do.

Texting While High

I did remember to reply to that text… we just forgot to send it.

Cotton Mouth

You finish a bowl with your friends, and lean back in your chair. All of a sudden your mouth turns into a desert. This stoner problem is common, but so easily avoided. Just make it a point to always have something to drink before you start smoking. It will enhance the entire experience.

You Smell Like Pot

Many people have attracted mates based on this smell. However, this scent isn’t appropriate for every occasion. You don’t want to be that guy at your little cousins birthday party.

Every Car Is A Police Car

Paranoid? Probably. But just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean there isn’t a bunch of cops waiting in KFC’s car park ready to force your face into the pavement and arrest your ass right there.